I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but...............

There's something fishy about what's going on in Gazza, I really don't know what it is. I'll just state facts in no particular order:

1) Some newspapers and TV programs reported that there is an idea evolving in the corridors ( some ) of the american secretary of state, suggesting that Palestenians could have a home-land in Sinai. ( if you watch the " el-tab3a al-ola" you'll know what I'm talking about ) It's all over the internet, but as an Israeli idea.

2) Israel is killing Gazza: no food, water, medicine........ nothing. A total siege.

3) When Egypt opened the borders , most of Gazza residents fled into Egypt and tried to hide, refusing to get back there.

4) The truce between Hamas and Israel is over & open war starts.

5) Israel is killing Gazza residents, while Hamas is shooting empty rockets. ( for God's sake, don't tell me that the best you can do is 5 injuries and 1 death, unless you are intentionally aiming for the desert )

6) Hamas refuses letting the wounded enter Egypt. They want un-conditioned opening of the gates.

7) Hassan Nasr-Allah, is asking the Egyptians to demonstrate by the millions even if thousands were martyred, to force the country to open the gates un-conditionally. He's also asking the Egyptian army to force the government to take action. Yet, he's not calling for a coup !!!!!!!!!!

( Why isn't he asking Syrians to free their Golan heights ?. Why isn't he using his borders to relieve the stress on Gazza ?. Why is he hiding underground ? ........... these are just exclamatory questions )

8) A part of the gate between Gazza and Egypt is broken & Palestinians started to leak into Egypt.

9) 2 Egyptian military members were shot today.



......................

What do you get out of all of that. I don't know, the only thing I can see right now is that it's a dirty game of politics that's aiming at pushing Egypt into some sort of a bloody swamp.
Who are the key players of the game right now ?, I have no idea.

Now that's being stupid and irresponsible.

I'm hating those Hamas people like I never did before. I've always believed that they are not doing that armed resistance thing for the sole sake of their just cause, but for the most part for political wins.
Today, it was admitted by Hamas leaders that they refuse permitting the passage of wounded Palestinians into Egypt to receive medical aid.

How can you justify that ?

On feeling bad.

I couldn't find a word that better describes what I'm feeling right now than the word ( bad ). I have too many things that are occupying my mind and unfortunately , most of them are negative.

1) Can't describe what I really feel when I see those horrible scenes of the current Gazza massacre. I feel useless, I don't really know how to help them.

2) The shoe - bush incident. This incident truly reflects what's going on in the Arab world. ( bear with me ).
First off, you have those people cheering for Al-zaydi even calling him the hero and the resurrector of the Arab dignity. All for what, is it freeing Palestine, is it kicking the americans out of Iraq & the Gulf, is it because of winning the world cup of anything........ No. It's just for throwing a pair of shoes at a person who isn't even worth the hassle of un-tying the shoe lasses. But that's not my point.

The other team, those who are against that action. Claim that it's against the Arab well known hospitality ( since when has an invader considered a guest !!!!!!!!), it's un-professional ( to that I agree ), it's useless ........etc. But do they propose any other course of action whatsoever for the sake of anything...... zoot, zilck, zit.... nothing.

What's really funny here, both teams are entering a furious battle all over the media. The pro-shoes team call the anti-shoe team the traitors. While the anti-shoe team call the others the Barbarians.................

That's what I call a true reflection of where we stand as Arabs.
We don't know how respect each other let alone the points of view. We are helpless, the best we can do is a symbolic action that wasn't well understood in the other side of the world ( because of cultural differences ).

For both teams, I say; Don't expect freedom or power till you can free your mind and souls.

3) I' not studying hard enough........ my exams are in a week.

4) I just seem to have what I call: winter depression, I just don't like winter.



Does any of the above make any sense, I don't care.

Belya says.

It's very strange that we give mathematical entries for an equation and expect a chemical reaction as a result.

( me commenting on pre-fixed marriages , aka salonat )

Belya says.

If life is a dance floor, and it takes 2 to tango, don't go looking for a partner. Change the music, enjoy the hip hop beats.

( me commenting on a friend's desperate attempts to find a suitable spouse )

Self chatter ( 2 )

It's really strange how we make friends, stick to them, leave them, love them, hate them, argue with them........................
It's really un-explainable .

Hdl I have friends who love me for what I am , who takes my whole package un-conditionally.

I don't know if it's a bless or it's the other way round, when your friends think they can trust you with their lives. It really scares the hell out of me, I'm no superman.
I'm just the ordinary guy who looks strong on the outside and has his flaws & cracks in the inside.

I love my friends and I would do anything I can to help them.

Self chatter ( 1 )

I've tried almost every feeling in the world you can name during the past year. I even felt things that I haven't througout my entire life.

Here are feelings that I had to live through:

Intense fear, happiness, sadness, suppression, oppression, extreme anger, hate, satisfaction, joy, madness, anticipation, power, weakness, exhaustion, laziness, security, broken, full, empty, wanted, rejected, abused, used, on charge, taken for granted, appreciated, believed, trusted...........


But what I really long for; a shoulder to lean on.

lessons of 2008

I'm writing this early as I don't think I'll have the time on the new year's eve.

here are my lessons:

1) Patience is a very difficult thing, although we all can't live without.

2) Always think positive.

3) Sometimes, we need to take decisions that aren't lovely nor easy. We need to stand our ground afterwards.

4) A friend who trusts you is worth the world. A friend you trust , is worth your life.

5) Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worth a minute of freedom.

6) Freedom, is the power of choice.

7) Sometimes we need to give up somethings or people to maintain our free spirits.

8) You can never stop discovering yourself.

Childhood movies & TV shows.

Today , I found myself recalling the movies & TV shows I used to like & watch over and over again while I was a child.

Here's my list ( the ones I've remembered ):

1- The Black Stallion
2- Karate Kid ( the series )
3- Hassan beih el-3'alban ( a silly movie, starring Samir 3'anem )
4- The Jungle Book
5- Robinson Cruiso ( a hilarious movie )
6- Karate Kid ( the movie )
7- Night Rider ( I used to watch David Hasslehoff.......... errrrrrrrg )

Hyper-creative, some modification needed

Yesterday, I had a frank chat with one of my senior staff. I was talking to her about how depressed I am, because we are faaaaaar beyond the reputed world class universities and dental centers. I also stated my deep belief ( that it seems impossible ) that one day we could reach them as no-one gives a damn about it.

Her answers were soo true and clarifying. She told me some stuff about my-self that I didn't know about ( or to be precise, didn't know all of it ).

Here's what she said:

1) I can easily spot defects, complain about them , suggest ideas for their solving BUT not taking actions.

my comment: true to a certain extent.

2) Ana bazha2 besor3a

my comment: Geddan geddan

3) I'm hyper-creative that I have too much ideas that I'm distracted by them.

my comment: I knew about the distraction, but didn't know about the hyper-creativity.

4) I have the potential for being something big one day.

my comment: YA RABB

Take the long way

Right now I'm in a situation that I want to reach some person. I only have one friend as a link to that person.
From my position, I can't use my friend to reach this person ( for some reasons I have ).
I'm looking for other links now.

It's becoming a very difficult job.

Plan B

One of the most important things that I believe-in in this life is PLANNING. As they say " if you fail to plan, then plan to fail ".
But I , personally, have one thing to add to this. My own strategy is to ALWAYS have a Back-up plan ( that's why I call it B, not because it comes in second ). It's of the same importance to having a plan in first place.
On planning anything I always have this question " what if it goes wrong ?" so, I usually have an answer to that ready in my pocket.
This is my own strategy and I've tried it with quiet success till now.

In Kuwait after 4 years ( 3 )

More of the stuff I've noticed :

1) It's new to this country to have roaming taxis. Back then, taxi was only an on-call service. You caouldn't find a car roaming the streets for you to stop.

2) The newest way to wear the hijab is what I call the ( Hunch-head ). Ladies put something under their hijab to lift the back area of their head. I haaaaaaaaate how it looks big time, it's a very repelling look.

3) The guys' in-style hair cut is to have every single hair on your head full length, dropping over the ear and back. The rest of your hair is ( sabayky-- 3ala ra2y a7mad 7elmy ).

4) Egyptian traits are becoming infectious, people started to stay up late. I never imagined that I'll have to stand in Sultan's ( a big hyper market ) qeue for 30:00 min. at 2:00 am !!!!!!!

On feeling free

لم أكن أعلم أن حرية الروح كما سلبت يمكن يوما أن تعود . فإني أعلم بالتحديد في أي لحظات حياتي سلبت مني حريتي ، فلم أعد أتنفس كالبشر ، و لكني كنت منذ تلك اللحظة كالآلة التي تسحب الهواء ثم تفرغه دون إستغلاله أو الشعور بوجوده

و لكن مع إقلاع الطائرة لم أستطع إلا الإبتسام و الإحساس بنسيم الحرية يملىء رئتي . فها أنا قد ولدت حرا من جديد

Belya, 26-8-08

Right after the plane take-off .

In Kuwait after 4 years ( 2 )

3ashan 7'ater Sou, here are more of the things I've noticed in my short visit to Kuwait:

1) Hospitals are still a wonderful oraganised place ( that's if you are a doctor ).
2) There's an increase in the number of Indians & Egyptians.
3) Although the it has always been the case that cheap labour live in an un-human conditions, it's my first time to bump into a beggar who isn't arabic speaking. Does this indicate anything about their conditions !!!!!!!!! I don't know
4) There has been an improvement in the quality of internet connections.
5) Avenues, a veeeeeeery big mall, is a cool place. Yet, I find it soul-less.
6) Ikea is a boring place, you have to go through the whole 2 storeys of the store to reach the exit.
7) It's becoming a more difficult task to find normal decent clothing ( where you are still in style, yet you aren't wearing cat walk clothing). Stores are selling waaaaaaaaay trendy ( cat-walkish as I call it ) outfits.
8) More & more Egyptians are starting to own 4WD cars.


Kefaya keda.

One of the best lines I've read

كانت الدنيا تمر بحالة من السكون التام حين يكون الليل و ما فيه من نقيق و صرير قد ولى ، و حين لا يكون النهار الكامل بأصواته و ضجيجه قد أقبل بعد. سكون تام مطبق وكأنما ستقوم القيامة بعده . سكون جليل مهيب تتردد حتى أدق الكائنات في خدشه.

الحرام ----- يوسف إدريس

In Kuwait after 4 years

It's been around 4 years since I've last visited Kuwait. As a first impression it doesn't seem like it has changed alot. But before I state my first impression, right now while I'm writing this there's an earthquake taking place.
I guess Kuwait is greeting me or probably as we say in Egypt ( gebto ma3aya wana gyy ).

Here's my first impression :

1) Alot of private clinics, spas & law firms. This wasn't the case or wasn't even close 4 years ago.
2) Starbucks & Mc Donald's in almost every street and around every corner.
3) Ladies are using toooooooo much make-up and perfume.
4) Construction is taking a fast pace, lots of cranes and new buildings.
5) Streets are more crowded than what I know.


These are the first things I've noticed in after one day.

Hopefully, more to come soon

Undiscovered Talent.

I don't really know why I have this feeling that I'll live and die without knowing what my true talent is. This is true, I don't know till now what my talent is ; and if I have a talent at anything in the first place. I even can't find a hobby that I enjoy doing for long time, I enjoy lots of things but nothing in particular.
I'm usually good at most of the things I do, but this has something to do with my persistence rather than any talent.

Here's a list of fields that I crossed out:

I'm not an artist
I'm not a musician
I'm not a first class athlete
I'm not a writer
I'm not a poet


I really wish I'd figure out and most importantly make use of it before I die.

Losing track of time

Today I had some weired moments in the early morning that left me laughing for more than 15 minutes.

Here goes the story:

My alarm beeps at 7:30, I jump out of bed with the first beep. I look at my clock, here's what I think " Shoot, I've only got 5 minutes to pray al-3asr prayers ", how could that happen I can't recall that I've prayed before heading to bed; I even can't recall at what time I went to bed aslan.
So I just went straight to the bathroom for wodoo2, then I started recalling my day's incidences sequentially in order to figure out at out time did I sleep. It crossed my mind that I can't even recall what I had for lunch, so I just went into the kitchen looking for anything left that could notify me of what I ate . I found nothing, so I just said " I probably grabbed a bite on my way back from work, 3adyy ya3ny ".

On moving around the house, I still couldn't figure out what's wrong all clocks and watches are showing it's 7:35 yet it's still sunny; what the hell is going on " Homma 3'ayyaro el-taw2eet wlla eih" the idea just crossed my mind.
It's not until minutes later that I found the newspaper with Today's date on it. I just stared at it for around like 5 minutes, then I fell on the ground out of laughter.


Yalla, this is a typical Belya :D

Why wasn't I told earlier.

I love my job soooooo much to the extent that I can stay working and performing surgeries non-stop for some long hours.
Why is that ? I have no particular reason. May be because I simply love it, may be because the smile of content and appreciation on the patients' faces makes you forget all the hell time you had to go through or maybe because I have nothing else to do ;) I simply don't know why , and I truly don't care as long as I'm enjoying it.

BUT there's one thing, I hate about my job that comes hand in hand with our work. At some point you have to deliver some bad news to patients as simple as : The patient has cancer and we need to remove a huge part of his face.

How on Earth am I supposed to deliver such news ???????!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really don't know, but I'm trying to figure it out.
It sucks, it really is devastating the look on the patient's face on hearing such awful news. begadd 7aga bashe3a.

I hate the fact that we don't have the luxury of having social workers or psychology trained personnel around

The universal person

If you were given the chance to choose traits from countrys and regions allover the world. Which ones would you choose ?

Here are my choices, ( in no particular order )

- Think like a Japanese
- Be punctuate like a German
- Enjoy life like a Lebanese
- Love like an Italian
- Dance like a Latino
- Strong like an African
- Mysterious like a Russian

Finally, sarcastic as an Egyptian :)

What about you.

Not blogging

I don't know why, I just had nothing to write for more than 2 months now. I even forgot about this space for sometime.

Maybe my blogging days are over, I'll just wait and see.

As for my life, I'm hectically busy at work.
Am leaving for Kuwait for a couple of weeks at the beginning of Ramadan isA.

That's all for now

The other side of Facebook

A couple of days ago I received a friend request over the facebook, I didn't recognize the name but on looking at the mutual friends I found alot of the people I know. I did accept this person on my friends list, thinking that he/she is an old classmate.
Within the following 2 days his/her friends list was full of around 100 people.
Today that person started a group for one sole reason: Attacking a newly married couple, this couple happen to be amongst our best friends.

Now we are deleting this person from our lists & reporting her/him and the group. Just to stop this nonsense.

What really surprised me is how easily we could be deceived over this facebook. All of my friends who had added this person, did so for the same reason I did. They thought it's someone common.

How clever are you??!!! It's only a matter of days and you'll be coming down.

A year of watching life rather than living it.

Today, it has been 13 months and 19 days since I joined the military service. It's been one hell of a year. I've missed alot of things in my life, but I've also learned ALOT in life.

Here's a list of what happened during this year in my life or in my close circuit of family and friends. ( the world can really change in 1 year ).

As regards my life:

-I found a job that I only stayed in for 1 working day , then I realized that it's not the job for me OR I'm not the one for this job.
-I worked at a filthy clinic for a month .
-I worked and still do at a good enough clinic and al-hamd LELLAH it's going on fine.
-I had a strong argument with a friend that resulted in loss of contact for around 6 months. We are working of fixing that now.
-The head of my Department at the University refuse to grant me his permission to start my M.Sc., so I'm 1 year late than my class.

Family:

-My father had two heart attacks. Everything is fine now and his health status is stable al-hamd LELLAH.
-My grandmother was hospitalized for a week. She is doing great now al-hamd LELLAH.
-My Brother and his wife got promoted at their company.

Friends:

- O, finished his MBA program, so as S his wife who finished her MA of political science.
- S & N got engaged and married. They are heading for the USA.
- K & D got engaged and married. They are leaving for the USA as K got accepted in a PHD program.
- B got accepted in a MBA program, and he too is heading for the States.
- Z started his own private business. He had too shut it down 6 months later .
- M started his private business too. It's going on fine till now.
- Kh changed the company he works for.
- M got engaged.
- A got engaged.
- B got married, she even has a beautiful baby boy now.

Feel free

When did you feel that you are liberated and free ?

As for myself:

1) On the way down to the pool after jumping from the 5-m or the 3-m ramp. The feeling of the air surrounding your body is just magnificent.
2) When I used to run endlessly in the childish game of hide & seek.
3) Riding ( or is it playing ) with the swing & flying high in the sky.
4) Sitting by the sea.
5) Driving your car full throttle on an empty road .

Dina is dancing, call the police.

If you are living in Egypt or you've been following the Egyptian satellite channels throughout the past week. You would have probably noticed what was keeping the people busy.
The People's Assembly ( magles el-sha3b ) had been busy condemning the fact that Dina ( the famous belly dancer ) danced at a party. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes that's true. The people's representatives ( nowwab ) were angry because that party was a Prom celebration. They say that Dina will ruin the youth ( hatbawwaz a7'la2hom ).

I'm not here to defend Dina or belly dancing, it's just strange that as far as I know students attend proms to celebrate their final year of school by DANCING. What Dina did was nothing strange to what was going over there, she even wasn't dressed in her always hot dancing suits. She was an invited guest and just wanted to share the students' their happiness.

So, let's stop Prom parties and imprison all High school students for attending them .

Ya gama3a 7aram 3aleiko kefaya tahreeg ba2a. ( ya magles el-sha3b )

And one more thing, Thumbs up for the People's Assembly : Condemning the dancer for dancing & approving 2 more years of Emergency Law.

Belya has changed

A couple of days ago, I was at my department at college. It's been some time since I last visited the place ( as you know, I'm still serving at the army ). Anyway, I faced a situation that I guess I would have handled waaaaaaay differently a year ago than what I actually did.

Here's the situation that took place at the clinic:

An intern is treating a patient, but she is doing some mistakes that requires correction. I go by her side and start correcting her mistakes the way we usually do ( 1-that's is: in English, so that the patient can't understand. 2- Politely, as they are future colleagues. 3-Confidently, to show them that we are there to support them not to undermine them ).
The intern's reaction was rude, she made it apparent ( without words ) that she is refusing guidance. She wanted to move away from the patient and said " you can show me how it's done " in a manner that indicates anger & challenge.

Here are my two reactions,

A year ago:

I would have probably ORDERED her to move aside, got the patient's treatment done as fast as possible and most importantly I guess I would have given her some hard talk & embarrass her infront of the patient & her colleagues.

A couple of days ago:

I took a firm charge of the situation, verbally. I made her go on with the treatment ( as I tend to believe that being impolite doesn't deprive you from the right to learn), till the point where she really needed my intervention. I didn't hold back any information I thought would be of her benefit. Then I told her ( infront of her colleagues ) that I need her for a word at the instructors' office. There, I listed her mistakes and commented on her behavior.
She apologized for the attitude & even thanked me for my help.


It sucks when you have to instruct interns that are only a year or two younger.


It seems that one year at the army has changed me deep to the core.

Prices going up

Now, it was officially announced that fuel prices are on the way up.

Expect a drastic uprise of prices of everything.

Long live the government.

What's wrong with car pooling.

If you are a Cairo resident, I won't have to tell you how the traffic has become the past couple of years. But , I'd like to ask you a question: Have you ever noticed the amount of cars with only the driver in it ??!!! I guess most of the cars in the streets carry only one passenger, the driver that is.

This fact drew my attention around a year ago, while I was reading " Whatever happened to the Egyptians " by Dr. Galal Amin ( the book is gr8 btw ).

I'm driven to think that this is one of the major causes of the lousy traffic we are having in our capital. We have poor, poor, poor & in-efficient public transportation; whether it was the underground, buses or taxis. So, families that can afford to buy cars for every member, will certainly do so without hesitation.
Doing the math ( just my own assumptions ), a single family could push around 3 cars in the streets each morning. Looking from the other side ( the destination side ), a working place with 100 employees could have 50 - 70 cars parking in the streets. ( At my department, we have a car for every single member)

I believe that such problem could be partially solved by changing our attitudes as regards transportation. I suggest car pooling.

I'll take my department as an example. Instead of having, 10 cars awaiting in the parking lot; there could be only 7. That's a 30% reduction in traffic.

What makes Egyptians not used to car pooling ?
( in my opinion )

1) We are not used to think as a community. We just tend to think of our own benefit ( ana w mn ba3dy el-toofan )
2) A lot of people tend to think that it'll take more time and consume more fuel to drive 5 more minutes. But, if it was considered thoroughly; the traffic reduction will decrease time consumption, fuel consumption and pollution.
3) We are not used to share.
4) Everyone thinks he's the most important one in the world, they can't wait extra 5 minutes till their colleagues are free to go home.
5) WE LACK PUNCTUALITY.


that's all for now.

A gesture that's stronger than a million words

Yesterday I was watching a movie on TV. Then came a scene close to the end of the movie where 2 friends just exchange glances, their eyes expressed all what they have experienced throughout the whole story.

On seeing this, I re-called a similar situation.
We were having a farewell party, as O ( my best friend ) was leaving for the U.S. By the end of the day, everyone present started wishing him & his wife good luck ........etc. Some of our friends almost cried, some even left early becoz the atmosphere was getting very emotional.
As for myself, I stood there till the end of day. I was the last person to salute him on that day and all we had to share was a warm hand shake, a small hug , a good luck word and an intense eye talk.

It's been almost 2 years now, but I will never forget the look in his eyes and the messages we delivered at that moment. Begadd, in-describable.

Egyptian sense of time

It really gets on my nerves the way Egyptians deal with time. I can't think of a better discription than ( dis-respect ).
If you decide to meet up with almost anyone at 8:00 p.m, you'll probably end up meeting at around 10:00.
If someone tells you he'll be late for just 15 minutes, he probably means that the earliest he can arrive is after 15 minutes. Usually it's never 15 nor 30 minutes it revolves around an hour or more.

I for myself used to be a very punctuate person, I learned from my dad to arrive 10 minutes ahead of any appointment. The Egytian timing has affected me big time, now I'm usually late for any appointment by 15 minutes ( this is un-acceptable on my scale )..

On going out with my friends ( they have terrible sense of time, that's if they have any ), I used to be the first to arrive. I was late for an hour on purpose, so as not to wait for long , BUT I usually had to wait for another hour or more.

Here's just one incidence: We had planned a Ramdan iftar at Mo- Cafe last year. I arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes before the Maghreb prayers ( which I thought was late for iftar outings, if you know what I mean ) I wasn't surprised to find myself the first to arrive. What made me laugh was 15 minutes before the Maghreb prayers, I was still on my own & recieved this call from N : " I was certain you'd be the only one in the restaurant. Could you please take my order , so that it's ready when I arrive "...........................

Quarter of a century on Earth, a new begining.

Today I've completed my quarter of a century of life. I'm officialy 25 .

On completing my 25 years, I could view my past life in one of 2 ways ; an optimistic one or a pessimistic view.

I'll start with the pessimistic one; I haven't achieved anything that's worth mentioning. I didn't have an effect on this earth.

The good side is, I've achieved ALMOST everything I need to start a successful life:

1- A university degree
2- A career path
3- Another job
4- A bunch of good, loyal friends
5- I'm almost done with my military service
6- My ambition

Life

Take NOTHING in life for granted, because nothing is.


p.s: I'm really missing my life

Lessons of 2007

Here are some of the things I've learned during that past year:

1) Always have a back-up plan for anything.
2) Everything in life is like a coin, has its two sides.
3) If I don't like you, this doesn't mean that I hate you.
4) Noone will help you achieve your goals, you'll have to fight for them.
5) Do what you do best and expect nothing in return. Trust me, everything will turn out for your best.
6) Keep your mouth shut as much as possible.
7) Four quarters doesn't necessarily make a whole one.
8) Not every smiling face is a happy one.
9) Respect is always a wining horse. Bet on it.
10) I will not ask you to be in my place, just stop making my life worse.

Worst of times

When it's the worst of times, you have 2 reasons to be happy :

1) You are still alive
2) It can still get worse, but you are lucky it didn't.