I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but...............

There's something fishy about what's going on in Gazza, I really don't know what it is. I'll just state facts in no particular order:

1) Some newspapers and TV programs reported that there is an idea evolving in the corridors ( some ) of the american secretary of state, suggesting that Palestenians could have a home-land in Sinai. ( if you watch the " el-tab3a al-ola" you'll know what I'm talking about ) It's all over the internet, but as an Israeli idea.

2) Israel is killing Gazza: no food, water, medicine........ nothing. A total siege.

3) When Egypt opened the borders , most of Gazza residents fled into Egypt and tried to hide, refusing to get back there.

4) The truce between Hamas and Israel is over & open war starts.

5) Israel is killing Gazza residents, while Hamas is shooting empty rockets. ( for God's sake, don't tell me that the best you can do is 5 injuries and 1 death, unless you are intentionally aiming for the desert )

6) Hamas refuses letting the wounded enter Egypt. They want un-conditioned opening of the gates.

7) Hassan Nasr-Allah, is asking the Egyptians to demonstrate by the millions even if thousands were martyred, to force the country to open the gates un-conditionally. He's also asking the Egyptian army to force the government to take action. Yet, he's not calling for a coup !!!!!!!!!!

( Why isn't he asking Syrians to free their Golan heights ?. Why isn't he using his borders to relieve the stress on Gazza ?. Why is he hiding underground ? ........... these are just exclamatory questions )

8) A part of the gate between Gazza and Egypt is broken & Palestinians started to leak into Egypt.

9) 2 Egyptian military members were shot today.



......................

What do you get out of all of that. I don't know, the only thing I can see right now is that it's a dirty game of politics that's aiming at pushing Egypt into some sort of a bloody swamp.
Who are the key players of the game right now ?, I have no idea.

Now that's being stupid and irresponsible.

I'm hating those Hamas people like I never did before. I've always believed that they are not doing that armed resistance thing for the sole sake of their just cause, but for the most part for political wins.
Today, it was admitted by Hamas leaders that they refuse permitting the passage of wounded Palestinians into Egypt to receive medical aid.

How can you justify that ?

On feeling bad.

I couldn't find a word that better describes what I'm feeling right now than the word ( bad ). I have too many things that are occupying my mind and unfortunately , most of them are negative.

1) Can't describe what I really feel when I see those horrible scenes of the current Gazza massacre. I feel useless, I don't really know how to help them.

2) The shoe - bush incident. This incident truly reflects what's going on in the Arab world. ( bear with me ).
First off, you have those people cheering for Al-zaydi even calling him the hero and the resurrector of the Arab dignity. All for what, is it freeing Palestine, is it kicking the americans out of Iraq & the Gulf, is it because of winning the world cup of anything........ No. It's just for throwing a pair of shoes at a person who isn't even worth the hassle of un-tying the shoe lasses. But that's not my point.

The other team, those who are against that action. Claim that it's against the Arab well known hospitality ( since when has an invader considered a guest !!!!!!!!), it's un-professional ( to that I agree ), it's useless ........etc. But do they propose any other course of action whatsoever for the sake of anything...... zoot, zilck, zit.... nothing.

What's really funny here, both teams are entering a furious battle all over the media. The pro-shoes team call the anti-shoe team the traitors. While the anti-shoe team call the others the Barbarians.................

That's what I call a true reflection of where we stand as Arabs.
We don't know how respect each other let alone the points of view. We are helpless, the best we can do is a symbolic action that wasn't well understood in the other side of the world ( because of cultural differences ).

For both teams, I say; Don't expect freedom or power till you can free your mind and souls.

3) I' not studying hard enough........ my exams are in a week.

4) I just seem to have what I call: winter depression, I just don't like winter.



Does any of the above make any sense, I don't care.

Belya says.

It's very strange that we give mathematical entries for an equation and expect a chemical reaction as a result.

( me commenting on pre-fixed marriages , aka salonat )

Belya says.

If life is a dance floor, and it takes 2 to tango, don't go looking for a partner. Change the music, enjoy the hip hop beats.

( me commenting on a friend's desperate attempts to find a suitable spouse )

Self chatter ( 2 )

It's really strange how we make friends, stick to them, leave them, love them, hate them, argue with them........................
It's really un-explainable .

Hdl I have friends who love me for what I am , who takes my whole package un-conditionally.

I don't know if it's a bless or it's the other way round, when your friends think they can trust you with their lives. It really scares the hell out of me, I'm no superman.
I'm just the ordinary guy who looks strong on the outside and has his flaws & cracks in the inside.

I love my friends and I would do anything I can to help them.

Self chatter ( 1 )

I've tried almost every feeling in the world you can name during the past year. I even felt things that I haven't througout my entire life.

Here are feelings that I had to live through:

Intense fear, happiness, sadness, suppression, oppression, extreme anger, hate, satisfaction, joy, madness, anticipation, power, weakness, exhaustion, laziness, security, broken, full, empty, wanted, rejected, abused, used, on charge, taken for granted, appreciated, believed, trusted...........


But what I really long for; a shoulder to lean on.

lessons of 2008

I'm writing this early as I don't think I'll have the time on the new year's eve.

here are my lessons:

1) Patience is a very difficult thing, although we all can't live without.

2) Always think positive.

3) Sometimes, we need to take decisions that aren't lovely nor easy. We need to stand our ground afterwards.

4) A friend who trusts you is worth the world. A friend you trust , is worth your life.

5) Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worth a minute of freedom.

6) Freedom, is the power of choice.

7) Sometimes we need to give up somethings or people to maintain our free spirits.

8) You can never stop discovering yourself.